Skinny tastes bad
November 28, 2009 by johnpaulholden · 2 Comments
Without meaning to gloss over the complex and painful subject raised by Moss, or suggest that the situation in terms of media pressure is anything like as heavy for men as it is for women, the Moss furore got me –as a man, and a skinny one at that – thinking about the male flip side of today’s body image obsession. If, for some women, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, then it’s the opposite for men. These days, the worst thing for a man is to be thin – unless it’s being cultivated as a look. Weight and size get carried by men as confirmation of their masculinity, even as cool. Why? Is it because traditionally male domains – work, white-hot competition, drink, hunting-gathering – are open territory in our age of equality and women’s lib? Is body mass the one defining feature left?
OK, so more men are taking out gym membership and bulking up. Fair enough (except when it involves using steroids). But the striking thing is that flab and gut poundage are now flaunted – admittedly often in a tongue-in-cheek way - alongside abs and biceps (as in this youtube slideshow, for example – one of many!).
All the rage in Brooklyn
Hell, it may even be that fat is taking over from muscle as the male uniform of the moment. According to Guy Trebay of the New York Times, many of NYC’s hipsters were this summer sporting a lightweight but definitely-there beer belly called the Ralph Kramden. Apparently it’s a reaction against superman Barack’s hit-the-gym-first-thing-save-the-world-economy-by-lunchtime work ethic. Seems the preening men who spend hours in the gym sculpting their bodies have also become a bit of a turn-off. Jackie Gleason must be turning in his grave…
People ask me why I’m so skinny all the time. ‘Weed’, ‘chicken legs’…I could go on. A good friend of mine from Germany – who often remarks on my meagre frame with concern and, at times, genuine alarm – suggested during a recent visit to her home near Munich that I might have an over-active thyroid gland and urged me to get it tested.
Shortly before flying out to visit this friend I had an unsettling, late-night conversation with a prospective date that went something like this:
“You’re cute, but you’d be far cuter if you gained some weight.”
“Oh? How do I do that?”
“Eat crap…kebabs and things. Eating late at night is good – that always helps to pile on the pounds. And make sure you eat plenty of liver sausage and wheat beer in Bavaria…”
Which I did, idiot that I am. The only thing I gained was bad indigestion. The date, when it finally happened, was a total disaster. No surprise there.
I got back to Edinburgh and had an opportune conversation with a generously proportioned work colleague who’d been told by this guy she liked that she had a nice face but that it was “a pity about her body”. I like to feel I have a fair idea of what she was going through.
Just want to add that I have absolutely no problem with weight. Weight is cool and looks good if the individual is happy in his or her own skin. But I always smile to myself when I read about women wanting to be thin and realise I’m after exactly the opposite.
